In a shocking upset, 'Modi' has replaced 'Gandhi' as the most powerful surname in India, said an AC Nielsen survey released today.
A visibly satisfied duo of Narendra Modi and Lalit Modi appeared together at launch of AC Nielsen report. An effusive Narendra Modi thanked people of Gujarat, his party workers and (weak) party leadership for their support. However, he was specially thankful to Controlled Bureau of Investigation (CBI) which made him so popular. He called this whole turn of event 'MODIfication'. He was also full of praise for former IPL Commissioner Lalit Modi whom he has invited to open a cheer leaders academy in the state.
Mr Lalit Modi, who flew all the way from some unknown island in the middle of his vacation to attend this event rubbished all charges leveled against him but thanked BCCI for continuously keeping him in the news. He also criticized BCCI's plans of doing away with cheer-leaders and IPL night parties which he thinks will bring disrepute to IPL and the game of Cricket.
The report has created quite a stir in political circle. The Congress headquarter which is usually abuzz with activity had an uneasy calm today. Later in the day, a meeting was convened at residence of Mrs. Sonia Gandhi to chart out future strategy.
Appearing from the meeting, Congress spokesman Mr. Abhishek Manu Singhvi discredited the report calling it 'a farce' and 'biased'. He refused to divulge any further detail as he said demotion of Gandhi surname was an internal matter of Congress. When probed further, he said that Mr. Rahul Gandhi has proposed to stay in a Dalit village; this time in Gujarat, to take Mr. Narendra Modi heads on. Mr. Rahul Gandhi also proposed to hire a consulting firm who will give a detailed advisory on improving Brand Gandhi. Meanwhile, Congress has also decided to request Mrs. Priyanka Vadra to use Gandhi surname till the time, Gandhi surname retains the top spot. It was also decided to ask Mr. Sharad Pawar to slow down the investigation against Mr. Lalit Modi as investigation will give him further air time. Similar directions are likely to be given to CBI for proceeding slowly against Mr. Narndra Modi.
Ms. Mayawati, UP Chief Minister demonised both Congress and BJP on this matter. She said the power of both Modi and Gandhi surname is an insult to Bahujan Samaj who will teach them both a lesson. However, she welcomed the idea of Mr. Rahul Gandhi spending his time in Dalit village in Gujarat rather than Uttar Pradesh.
However, third on the list, Khan surname's flag bearers Aamir, Shah Rukh and Salman have decided to keep the rivalry going among themselves. Salman said stopping fight amongst themselves was too much a price to pay for a random report.
In Mumbai, cutting the party line, Mr. Raj Thackrey, whose surname slipped 2 positions, met Mr. Bal and Uddhav Thackrey on the pretext of ill health of Mr. Raj Thackrey. They have devised the plan of pan-Maharashtra opposition to both Modi and Gandhi surnames.
BJP president Mr. Nitin Gadkari hoped that any opposition to these surnames will not hamper the relationship (whatever is left) between Shiv Sena and BJP. He congratulated Mr. Narendra Modi for his performance. However, he categorically denied that this report will have any impact on party's plans (whatever that is!!) on projecting Mr. Narendra Modi as Prime Minister candidate in next general elections.
The article was prepared for Faking News. It abides by the disclaimers of Faking News.
No comments:
Post a Comment